The Untitled Thief | OYA Magazine

The Untitled Thief

By on January 23, 2017

By Rubenkells

Three weeks and two days into the year there he comes with a bag, looking soft and attractive, beside him is a woman whose perfume is so beautifully placed. Gladly we received him after a long pursuit of what this old man came around doing with such a young lady.

Her intentions are truly not known as a result we just got to meet her after 15 years he has been away. His eyes are deepened with pain looking pale, like a man lost in the arms of a foreign woman, who by the way she is. She happens to be the white Shade Akunle by name whose aim is to get married to the rich old man.

What can we say “Youth of today”, all they think of is this senseless rich dad plan – Mama speaking. Take a close look at this ungrateful rat, I hate her sight already even when she hasn’t spoken nor acted the fool, my taught is eating me up. I am consumed by her color, I think this racial thing is working for me who by the way is black.

I am Mama, a sixty year old re-virginized woman with a style of a child, I refuse to know age. This life I must groove till I drop, my children are proud, single and rich. My style is not like these young ladies *while she spoke her son comes in* Mama you are forever young, you don’t want to leave this thing for youths to carry on, *eyes him and continue talking to her mirror* When I was 20 I did not know man not to speak of fashion, all I focused on was my book now you have that thing (puppy) following you around because of change, hey brother have you slept with that your puppy? Or is she a virgin? *hissed and leaves room*.

Na wa ooo, folks be hotting, just take a look at mama she wouldn’t even admit she is sixty, all she does is make up and party with those old for age young for body friends of hers, well I am glad I have her this way than in a stool forming diabetic – Tobi speaks. *By the way he is the first born male child of mama who ran off for over fifteen years and later returned with that young woman who mama hates* Hey puppy! What are you doing close to my fridge you think this is some city property that you can just invade as you like? Hey, you might have won my son over, but hence you still have a face like a local dog don’t think you are winning my heart anytime soon. Mama!!! What’s it with you and my woman, we are barely 3weeks in the house and you won’t let her move without saying a word, where is that sister of mine self? *lost in thought* The single, local, puppy face – Shade looks away, slowly unconsciously preparing to hit mama at a spot she never thought anyone knew, late at night she moves close to mama and taps her calls with those rich politicians only to find out that she was sleeping with them for cheap coin (Money).

*In surprise she quickly records her conversations* waiting for mama to stroke her again. Tola, my soft sister, sexy at night, blasting hot by the morning, how you do this thing I don’t understand- Tobi speaks. You know I can’t come and kill myself, or do you want to marry me ni? Abeg let me look good for my man. Sister you don’t have to put too much in it, your foundation is too much you are looking like a living, walking dead body who is been pushed on a rail. Abi all those your friends don’t tell you the truth ba? Well better adjust if not you would remain single forever and later see yourself in front of the church, yes that reminds me, do you even go to that local assembly around the corner or them done close am? *laughs out loud and moves to Shade* *All of which, they all don’t know that there is one person that has the secret to everyone’s life, Tobi is a cheat, Shade is a slut, Mama is a proud and shameless bitch, Tola has no womb. What happens next?* Shade all you do is eat and move about, who do you know around here that you always go out to see? -Tobi speaks. Sweetie, can’t I just see around the town a little, at least it is better than staying here with mama who doesn’t even like me. Can I have some money to get some new clothes, you know I have to look good for you wherever I am? Tobi who is 35years of age, looking for a woman who would love him and settle with him still tries convincing himself that Shade is the woman for him. Yes! I know, please just go and get what you want, on her way to the market she had a call from her client who is friends to Mama and was out for a three sum (2 girls and a man sex), Mama been tagged first and Shade tagged second and Empiro the host, what could go wrong? Mama!!! Shade!!! – Empiro!!! Mama who was in the bathroom did not see when Shade entered and from the tub she shouted *Empiro is my mate in*, with joy he replied Yes!!! Now mama comes out, Shade was by the wardrobe yet to see who her mate was, she takes off her top and walks in the tub without seeing mama who is naked and covered with the duvet. Shade quickly moves out her bra and her pointed nipples were all turned, ready for her mate and the feel of the African Cucumber. She takes her bath and comes out with a transparent robe which clearly showed her G-string and her bra-less top. Back home Tobi and Tola rattling over a simple movie on Z-world talking over Pinto and its controversial acts. They wondered where Shade was and no one had heard from mama, meanwhile Empiro who is the host of the dramatic threesome was infected with AIDS, what would become of Mama and Shade?

Photo credit: lawrenceleemagnuson

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