WHEN RELATIONSHIP GOES SOUR: BODY SHAMING AND NUDITY - OYA Magazine
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WHEN RELATIONSHIP GOES SOUR: BODY SHAMING AND NUDITY

By on July 22, 2017

By Ebukun Gbemisola Ogunyemi

Hey guys, let’s talk for a minute from the book of real common sense and uncontaminated humanity. I think it is very noteworthy to mention that if there is anything I love about Kim Kardashian, it is her ability to bounce right back after the nude video thing going viral. You know what, recently it occurred to me that it takes a great deal of strength to rise and say damn certain things and its consequences (shame, mockery. . .), I’m gonna continue living and rising above. A part of me strongly believes that apart from the fact that Kim Kardashian is white and certain things we really count in this part of the continent, they don’t and outside of having a business mind and all, it takes a great deal of strength and coming to a place of healthy self-esteem to press on knowing your sex tape has travelled all continents.

What’s my point? I think the society is polluted that we think if we must humiliate a woman never to recover, just upload her nude pictures and videos which make me remember the case of Miss Anambra or whatever it was. Then again, the issue of one of the daughters or granddaughters of Fela threatened by an ex comes to mind again. I could remember the controversial Kemi Olulonyo posting on her page and commenting on her this so-called ignoramus of an ex daring him to go ahead and upload the nudes and making sure that he bears in mind that Mama Funmilayo Ransome Kuti once walked naked to an Oba’s Palace and then again recently, the issue of a Non-Nigerian Vixen who ended a relationship with an obsessive Nigerian ‘Artiste’ and then this guy who obviously isn’t good with rejection threatens to release her nude pictures. And then to the most recent of all, is the Rob Kardashian-Blac Chyna drama. What does it matter? After all, she has her nudes flying up and down! Well, it does matter.

Some people would ask, are people still sending nude pics and making nude videos up and down in this century? Well, as bizarre as that sounds, some people are still very much a fan of that culture and if you ask me, I will say first, it’s high time that stupid culture became extinct. Nonetheless, many of us have done ridiculous and unbelievable things in the name of love and relationships. Things that when you weigh them, nude pics and videos weigh nothing where they are. Love makes people act stupidly; good and bad love! It makes you vulnerable, it makes you compromise but the question is what do you compromise? On what grounds do you compromise them? Does your relationship make you think straight? Does it coerce you into doing what you don’t wanna do? Are you being abused? Do you find it difficult to recognize and define yourself? I want to believe every nude pictures/video taken/made was done out of love and in feelings but it’s funny how that show of love becomes a tool of destruction when it goes sour.

Hold up, I’m not condoning the sending and receiving of nudes but the truth is some people’s nudes are out there with an ex with them constantly praying he loses them or don’t try to use it against them. Do you even know that most of the time, it’s not always the case of a young lady stupidly in love sending nudes, what about the nights you spent in your lover’s house and he probably took a picture of your body when you were asleep or the ones he took when you were not looking. I’ve read a story of a guy who had a camera secretly in his room unknowing to the girl only for the relationship to go sour few months after and then he started extorting her and at the end of the day, he successfully made enough cash from her, uploaded the video and drove her to suicide.

I’m not even talking about Christian values cos if I am, all the aforementioned that leads to being in situations that lead to ones nudes being taken and spread abroad is ungodly but no one is trying to play Holy Mary with anyone ‘cos we’ve all been in ugly places, dicey situations, made bad judgment calls, etc. and as much as it is expedient for everyone to embrace God and godly values, not everyone will share your values.

The fact that you are not having sex before marriage doesn’t mean some people are not and while they are still at it, it’s a betrayal of trust to upload their nudes just to get back at them.

Dude! It makes you a weak and pathetic man. You upload your ex’s nudes to what end? Some of y’all need to learn how to handle rejection and be okay with understanding that a relationship has ended and after making efforts at reconciling and it didn’t work, let it go! Nothing about letting go is rosy and quick but no, don’t descend so low that cause a rainfall of nudes that belonged to someone that was once your girl! The society says there’s nothing really shameful about a man’s nudes but a woman’s nudes, a whole lot are wrong! That’s why when a woman gets caught for stealing or anything, the first thing done is strip her off clothes. Some people even go as far as playing with their body parts, take their pictures and then you see the victims trying to cover up with their arms like it’s a fig tree from the Garden of Eden.

So please, don’t judge me when I try to look beyond my Christian values at times and never try to judge some women for celebrating their nudity by engaging in nude photo shoots and all. In a world where a woman’s nudity is a thing to be shameful and humiliated for, indulge me for never judging another woman for celebrating it.

Finally, if I must tell a woman to cover up and say, you should really not upload your nudes for the whole world to see, it’s because it’s unchristian and few moral values. And to guys who derive satanic joy and orgasms in humiliating women/ladies with their nudes, you guys should grow up and to ladies who think sending nudes to guys and doing things that contradict your values to please a man is a show of love and a guarantee of your relationship’s permanency, girl, it’s a lie from the pit of hell. Be not deceived. To survivors of situations as this, I celebrate your strength to keep moving on even though it’s hard. Everyone has made one stupid and costly mistake in life. Maybe not everyone, but some of us have and we are not letting it bury us, so don’t let it bury you too!

Shoot! Before I forget, young lady, if you are contemplating on sending those nudes to that guy, you might want to reconsider, don’t do it! You don’t need a reason for everything.

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